Understanding ADHD: Insights from NeuroAdvocateConsult

When people hear the term ADHD, they often imagine a child who can't remain still — constantly running, climbing, and always on the move. While these behaviours can be common symptoms of ADHD in some individuals, the challenge of executive functioning has been overlooked in discussions until recently.

The area of the brain that handles managing, organising, and regulating daily activities is located in the prefrontal cortex and is known as 'executive functioning'. This function encompasses working memory, flexible thinking, and inhibitory control, yet it is often neglected when it comes to comprehending ADHD.

Up until late 20s or early 30s, executive functioning (EF) is still maturing. Therefore, it is crucial to note that the EF of a young person with ADHD is typically about 30% less developed than that of someone without the condition.

Let's consider a 13-year-old child in high school, we might expect them to be able to organise their own belongings, clean their room, keep track of books and supplies, and manage when things go awry. However, a 13-year-old with ADHD often has an EF age of around 9.

Children with ADHD are often intelligent and quick learners, but can they remember where their uniform is? Be prepared on time? Retain more than two steps in a sequence of instructions? Unfortunately, these are the areas where challenges become evident.

I’ve listened to parents express frustration about their child being 'lazy' and heard teachers state 'they are very bright, but careless and disorganised'. This is not a failure of character; it is simply 'executive functioning delay'.

And here’s the important takeaway for parents who have been criticised for 'spoiling' their ADHD child by helping them organise their bags, tidying their room, being their external timer, giving them consistent reminders and laying out clothes the night before (even though Mary's kids are doing all of this independently) — you have not been doing them a disservice; rather you have been providing essential scaffolding for your child and considering their EF age, rather than their chronological age.

You are not at fault; you are helping a young person grow up without an internal narrative of being LAZY or USELESS. You are equipping them with the necessary support to focus their energy where it is most required, as the effort expended by someone with ADHD to function daily often leads to significant fatigue.

Don't blame yourself. Together with your child, you will figure it out, and gradually they will develop coping strategies, recognise their limitations, and celebrate their strengths.

Give it time, and from now on, bear in mind that EF age differs from chronological age. The milestones were never written with neurodivergent children in mind, so we must forge our own path.

You got this!

Signed: Your counsellor with ADHD, who has kids with ADHD, AND now grandkids with ADHD <3

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